The Capitalist Cow

(Source)

Ideal Capitalism: You have two cows, sell one, and buy a bull. They multiply, and the economy grows. You sell the herd and retire. You get rich!

American Capitalism: You have two cows, sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You get surprised when she dies.

Japanese Capitalism: You have two cows, redesign them so they are one tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce 20 times more milk. Then you create little drawings of cows called Cowimon, and sells them to the rest of the world.

British Capitalism: You have two cows. They are both crazy!

Dutch Capitalism: You have two cows. They live together in a de facto union, they do not like bulls, and everything is alright.

German Capitalism: You have two cows, they produce milk regularly, according to standards of quantity and time previously set, accurately and profitably. But what you really wanted to raise was pigs.

Russian Capitalism: You have two cows. Counts them and sees that ultimately has five. Account again and see that you have 42; new account and see that you have 12 cows. You stop counting and open another bottle of vodka.

Swiss Capitalism: You have 500 cows, but neither is yours. You charge to save the cows of others.

Spanish Capitalism: You are very proud for having two cows!

Brazilian Capitalism: You have two cows. And you complain because the herd doesn't grows...

Hindu Capitalism: You have two cows. Woe to those who touch them!!!

Portuguese Capitalism: You have two cows, which were purchased through the European Social Fund. The government creates the CVAT - Cow Value Added Tax. You sell one cow to pay the tax. A fiscal comes and fines you because although you have paid the CVAT, the real value you must pay should be assumed by the number of cows you presumably have, and not by actual cows you have. The Ministry of Finance, through data, also assumed, of your consumption of milk, cheese, leather shoes, and buttons, assumes that you have 200 cows. To get rid of the trouble, you give the cow that is left to the fiscal, and declare bankruptcy.